I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I intend to get homeless drunk
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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