I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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