My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
