shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
