Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
