I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize