party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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