You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
