you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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