grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
