it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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