1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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