one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
