it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
