I wish I could teleport
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
