Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
