am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
