I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
