He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
