I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
