omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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