I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
