i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
