i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
