I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
