i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
