She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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