your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
