You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Boobs are out for the taking
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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