dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
