that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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