We're facebook friends in real life
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
