I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
