If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
