We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i love accidental penises.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
