i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
