So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
