Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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