I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
