no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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