I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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