she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
