Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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