Pregnant stripper...not hot.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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