Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
