Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
