it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
50% drunk capacity currently
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
