it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I need to calm my uterus...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
