So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Randomize