To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
