my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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