He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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