we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She just used a chaser for red wine.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
