I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
