We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
