It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
