yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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