I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
