Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
