VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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