shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
