You really coming over, don't trick.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize