My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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