Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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