dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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