And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
