Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
pop tarts are not kleenex
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize