scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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