You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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