Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
