Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize