Kiss
Puke
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize