If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
