Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize