either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize