dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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