he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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