Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
