i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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