Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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