you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Acid is not a monday night drug
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
