why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize